Welcome to the newly discovered status for Egyptian men.
The New MBA : Married But Available By: Amany Eid Love & Relationships - March 2010 Egypt is no longer the scene we see in the old Arabic black and white movies, nor is it represented by the movies shot in the 70’s and 80’s. The times of our Grandparents and parents are gone; society has changed, whether in terms of the visible or the hidden.
In specific, technology and globalization have helped spread a culture driven and led by the West, which is quite different to that which was prevalent before. In terms of fashion, dress codes are imitated and even if women wear the veil (Hijab), it is often customized to accommodate the fashion coming in from the West. Whether this means, short, skin-tight or revealing clothing; women have become more confident and generally show less inhibition than in the past. Meanwhile, Egyptian feminism, and the increasing rights which women have gotten, have made it very common that women and men interact closely and intensively. On another note, economic pressures, have prevented or delayed the marriage age of many women, which makes the supply of single women in society quite high relative to the number of single men who are capable of getting married.
As a result of all the above, this has helped create a new species of men, called MBA; Married But Available. These men are married however open to other types of relationship with women.
The relationships can be classified into the following:
1. Just talk. Some men just seek an emotional outlet and are looking for a friend. The wife is perfect, but the husband is in need for someone to be on the same mental wavelength, discuss business, issues of poetry, life, and politics with. Some wives’ accept this, while some others don’t. However realistically speaking, it does pave the way for cheating on the wife, and leaves room for emotions to grow no matter how much the husband is in love with his wife.
2. Looking for a girlfriend. Some men are looking for a girlfriend, either to sleep with, or simply to be a companion in activities that his wife is not interested to be involved in or that he does not wish to involve his wife in. How far the relationship develops, between the man and his girlfriend, depends on how pious he is, how scared he is of his wife and how socially conforming he is and how much of a conscious he has is in general.
3. Looking for a Mistress. Some husbands suffer from sexual frustration with their wives. This could be due to a declining physical chemistry, a lack of interest from both parts as a result of work load, or the increasing pressure of life, or as a result of carelessness on the husband’s or wife’s part. This could also be due to a lack of morals on the man’s side, lack of religious values or simply the man could be a dog, and one woman is just not enough.
4. Looking for a second wife. This type of husband openly admits lack of mental and physical satisfaction in the marriage, and hence declares his search for a new wife. In addition, this type of husband could be happy with his wife, but seeking change, and variety, for whatever that is.
The end result is that these man who are married, also position themselves as available for new relationships with women. They are “Married but Available”.
So both men and women need to do some emotional striptease and face their demons. Are you happy in the marriage? Do you take care of your partner and vice versa? Take care of you relationship and work on it.
Single women on the other hand, they need in general to maintain boundaries, and ensure that barriers are kept with married men, no matter how tempting it is to break them. This by no means implies women and men should not interact; interaction in today’s world is deemed a necessity, however it should be done with restrain and self-respect from both parties; men and women. Emotions should not be allowed to run or to develop when other parties can be harmed, or when built on deceit or betrayal.
This will not eliminate the Married but Available phenomenon, as these men will always be on the prowl, however, it is worth a try to minimize any further damage to a marriage.
Ah, yes, #4 . . . married and looking for second wife . . . typical of guys who have married western women and moved to the wife's country then go home to marry an egyptian . . . he wants to have his cake and eat it too Posted by metinoot (Member # 17031) on :
How many western women on vacation or chatting online are married yet are available for egygigolos?
Posted by Ayisha (Member # 4713) on :
quote:Originally posted by metinoot: How many western women on vacation or chatting online are married yet are available for egygigolos?
Damn good point there sono!! Posted by Cheekyferret (Member # 15263) on :
My guess 84. Am I close?
Posted by Ayisha (Member # 4713) on :
quote:Originally posted by Cheekyferret: My guess 84. Am I close?
the age or the number?
Posted by Ayisha (Member # 4713) on :
quote:Originally posted by Sashyra8: Welcome to the newly discovered status for Egyptian men.
The New MBA : Married But Available By: Amany Eid Love & Relationships - March 2010 Egypt is no longer the scene we see in the old Arabic black and white movies, nor is it represented by the movies shot in the 70’s and 80’s. The times of our Grandparents and parents are gone; society has changed, whether in terms of the visible or the hidden.
I would dispute this. I have seen more boobs, legs, affairs, love triangles and you name it in these old Egyptian movies than anywhere else.
Posted by Cheekyferret (Member # 15263) on :
quote:Originally posted by Ayisha:
quote:Originally posted by Cheekyferret: My guess 84. Am I close?
the age or the number?
That made me chuckle.
Posted by tigerlily_misr (Member # 3567) on :
What's the difference between a girlfriend and a mistress?
I really don't see any.
Posted by Monkey (Member # 17287) on :
quote:Originally posted by tigerlily_misr: What's the difference between a girlfriend and a mistress?
I really don't see any.
What's the difference between a mistress and a second wife? A prison sentence, where I come from
I worked with a woman who'd been the other woman for over TEN YEARS. Ten years! Imagine that? He spent a few nights at her house, a few nights a the wife's. Mistress and husband ran a business... dunno what you'd call it really - they did gumball rally type events. All the people at these events knew mistress not wife, but then he had other businesses where they'd know the wife not the mistress. They knew about each other and tollerated it but never the twain shall meet. Till he was sick in hospital and they both appeared. I bet that was awkward.
Nowt so queer as folk, but heyho, if they're happy with it (were they really though?).
Posted by akshar (Member # 1680) on :
Sorry but why is limited to Egyptians. recent story about head of IMF shows it is common with all men whatever their nationality
Posted by Stephie_ELH (Member # 16197) on :
The problem I have with Egyptians and infidelity is that they make a big deal out of being devout Muslims (don't know any from other faiths so not gonna mention them)and how immoral westerners(and pretty much everyone else) is/are and then they turn around and lie, cheat and generally behave like bastards. I have noticed the same thing about any population where the appearance of piety is more important than not being an utter twat so it isn't exclusive, just glaringly obvious in Egy due to tourism. This isn't tied to fidelity either, attitudes towards other peoples rights/feelings, care of animals and general behavior tend to tie in to the trend (again, not exclusive to Egy people)
Posted by Ayisha (Member # 4713) on :
quote:Originally posted by Stephie_ELH: The problem I have with Egyptians and infidelity is that they make a big deal out of being devout Muslims (don't know any from other faiths so not gonna mention them)and how immoral westerners(and pretty much everyone else) is/are and then they turn around and lie, cheat and generally behave like bastards. I have noticed the same thing about any population where the appearance of piety is more important than not being an utter twat so it isn't exclusive, just glaringly obvious in Egy due to tourism. This isn't tied to fidelity either, attitudes towards other peoples rights/feelings, care of animals and general behavior tend to tie in to the trend (again, not exclusive to Egy people)
apparently fasting Ramadan deletes all these Steph, ready for it to all start again
speaking of animals, I saw the skinniest horse last night attached to a calleche, never seen so much bone on a horse, almost went to find the owner to shout at him and bet anything he wouldn't have been as skinny as his horse. InshaAllah when the time comes Allah treats them as they treated their animals! Posted by Ayisha (Member # 4713) on :
double post. ES is so full of SPAM these days it's becoming SLOW and unresponsive. Posted by Cheekyferret (Member # 15263) on :
Oh yeah, the whole double standards thing is one big pile of BS.
And tbh, Akshar has a point, I have travelled the world and met the 'married but available' guys in every country. They are just not so honest about it with their wives, or partners. (A girlfriend thinks she is the only one, a mistress knows she is sharing!)
Frankly, any dude who is blatent about shagging around to me is vile, worthless and needs a good disinfecting!
And I do believe in Karma... oh they will get theirs. I only hope that horse rears and kicks the bastard in the throat!
Posted by *Dalia* (Member # 13012) on :
quote:Originally posted by Sashyra8: In specific, technology and globalization have helped spread a culture driven and led by the West, which is quite different to that which was prevalent before.
In terms of fashion, dress codes are imitated and even if women wear the veil (Hijab), it is often customized to accommodate the fashion coming in from the West. Whether this means, short, skin-tight or revealing clothing; women have become more confident and generally show less inhibition than in the past.
Meanwhile, Egyptian feminism, and the increasing rights which women have gotten, have made it very common that women and men interact closely and intensively. … As a result of all the above, this has helped create a new species of men, called MBA; Married But Available.
Nonsense. Cheating has nothing to do with the above mentioned factors – i.e. women's clothes and less gender separation – it's always been around. Maybe the author should read Naguib Mahfouz' "Cairo Trilogy" for a vivid description of MBA men in Egypt decades ago.
Following the author's logic, there should be very little cheating and very few MBA men in Saudi Arabia, for example. No comment. Posted by Mo Ning Min E (Member # 681) on :
I think we can't ignore the fact that there is a biological imperative involved. Fertile women produce one egg a month.Men are capable of fertilizing thousands of eggs. From a simplistic biological angle, maybe the ideal is for a man to have a harem of women, [barefoot and pregnant] and his role is to be the strong provider, as, biologically, all women seek. 'Faithfulness' in a relationship goes against the deep, dark,instincts of any man really. Even the most 'faithful' man can't help giving other women the once over, even if it goes no further than that. And I'd like to bet that those who recognise themselves as an alpha-male type, [power and wealth] are more subject to this. People haven't evolved over the millennia to the point where men produce fewer sperm [a really motivated, stealth missile-type one a month for instance.] Maybe we should be grateful that most men do accept the idea of monogamy, to the extent they do? Posted by tigerlily_misr (Member # 3567) on :
It's about two friends who get from their fed-up wives one week off from marriage and permission to do whatever they want to do.
Guess who gets laid after all? Posted by Stephie_ELH (Member # 16197) on :
Mo, that may be true but it is also true that women are biologically programmed to seek out the fittest men and be promiscuous. Therefore, the 'biological imperative' angle is BS because then BOTH genders would be equally entitled to behave like dogs. However, if people are to be shoehorned into social contracts then both need to 'play fair' and obey the rules. Why the hell would a woman get married if she didn't have at least a promise of fidelity and care? From what I have seen of 'traditional' families, in which the man acts like a paraplegic infant at home, there is very little incentive for women to tolerate marriage.
Posted by Mo Ning Min E (Member # 681) on :
Mo, that may be true but it is also true that women are biologically programmed to seek out the fittest men and be promiscuous. Therefore, the 'biological imperative' angle is BS because then BOTH genders would be equally entitled to behave like dogs. Gotta disagree there, sorry. Actually, it wouldn't make sense for women to be biologically programmed to be promiscuous. Women, like any female mammal, have a responsibility toward their potential offspring. Promiscuity endangers the offspring. And if she is seeking the fittest alpha male, to father her children, why would she risk the welfare of those kids thrillseeking with the 'betas'? In the real 21st century world of course, women may play the field a bit before committing to the most viable breeding prospect, but having found him, promiscuity, as such, is an abberation, surely? Anyway, I wasn't talking sociology, I was talking ethology [I think !]or maybe anthropology??? Posted by citizen (Member # 1344) on :
Men throughout history have been married but available. Certainly in this part of the world, men had female slaves, concubines and wives. Women were always 'owned' and the early Egyptian feminists likened their position as secluded married women to slavery. In the West too, women considered marriage a kind of slavery, they lost their freedom, they lost their legal personality and their property, all was handed to their husbands, who very often kept mistresses or frequented prostitutes. Marriage, I believe, was invented by men to be able to identify their children. That's why the tradition is to name children after their fathers while their mothers are just the reproduction machine that's forgotten in history. So marriage has always been a kind of slavery for women, while men continued to enjoy freeedom. It's only since female emancipation that women have demanded some respect and an end to double standards in marriage. Equality in marriage is very recent in the West and still not found in the East.
Posted by Sashyra8 (Member # 14488) on :
"Marriage, I believe, was invented by men to be able to identify their children. That's why the tradition is to name children after their fathers while their mothers are just the reproduction machine that's forgotten in history. So marriage has always been a kind of slavery for women, while men continued to enjoy freeedom. It's only since female emancipation that women have demanded some respect and an end to double standards in marriage. Equality in marriage is very recent in the West and still not found in the East."
Probaby true,citizen Posted by Ayisha (Member # 4713) on :
quote:Originally posted by citizen: Men throughout history have been married but available. Certainly in this part of the world, men had female slaves, concubines and wives. Women were always 'owned' and the early Egyptian feminists likened their position as secluded married women to slavery. In the West too, women considered marriage a kind of slavery, they lost their freedom, they lost their legal personality and their property, all was handed to their husbands, who very often kept mistresses or frequented prostitutes. Marriage, I believe, was invented by men to be able to identify their children. That's why the tradition is to name children after their fathers while their mothers are just the reproduction machine that's forgotten in history. So marriage has always been a kind of slavery for women, while men continued to enjoy freeedom. It's only since female emancipation that women have demanded some respect and an end to double standards in marriage. Equality in marriage is very recent in the West and still not found in the East.
we really do need a Like button in here!
Posted by Stephie_ELH (Member # 16197) on :
As to the 'women will endanger offspring' due to communal social structures (we are not socially modeled after either wolves or chimps) if the woman was in a typical female group with male 'protectors' then bringing paternity into question actually made the child the son/daughter of all of them. Thus the, probably related, males of the group all had an interest in protecting all members of the group. In early humans, male leaders of women would have made little sense, males were subject to greater death/injury risks so the 'leader' would probably have been the female with the most wisdom/ability as she would be able to preserve social structure and remember migration/forage routes(much like in elephant societies) With the advent of cities in which gathering became obsolete and protection from marauding outsiders became important, women became merely adjuncts to their male 'protectors'. This appears to be a modern (as in since settlement) rather than the 'natural' state of affairs. The reason that monogamy is so important in modern society is due to the breakdown of extended support networks of women in which it didn't matter if a specific male supported a female and her offspring. Also, the male obsession with his own bloodlines has distorted the 'natural' way of things so that women were in thrall to male domination.
Posted by 'Shahrazat (Member # 12769) on :
Off topic but there was a couple having their honeymoon on one of a Nile cruise I had few years ago. The man was a typical fat middle-aged funny Egy man and woman was a younger Egy woman. He told me that she was her 4th wife and he is ready for the 5th one if laws allow. Posted by 'Shahrazat (Member # 12769) on :
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Posted by butterfly87 (Member # 19156) on :
I really need someone help to translate some egyptian arabic slang in phonetic arabic to english can someone please please help me
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