posted
sorry.... for those of you not in the UK...
Catherine Tate does a one woman comedy show... very british, sorry!
one of her charactors is a very sad lonely woman who has internet relationships. in the 1st series it was with an American prisoner on death row.... basicly its about how all her friends try to tell her shes being taken for a mug but she wont listen...
..... he has now been executed and guess what online relationship has developed for her 2nd series!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
...yip you guessed it!!!!
Oh god im so not tired.. i'll type out the script.
interviewer- have any of your internet relationships ever turned into anything more serious elaine?
elaine- well as you know tanya, i met my prince charming but he was cruelly taken away from me. jerry, god rest his soul. i was convinced no one could ever take his place, untill i met Mohhamed.
tanya- where is Mohammed
elaine-hes in Egypt, hes 24 and he sells spices outside Luxor temple. hes so romantic, i sometimes think im living in a barbera cartland novel.
tanya- how are you finding the cultural differences.
elaine- weve both had to make our sacrifices.. hes had to buy a 6 month pass to his local internet cafe, and ive had to change my religeon.
tanya- that must have been a very big decision
elaine-not really. ive had to change to halal meat, i pray to the east 5 times a day, and a couple of weeks ago Mohammed told me im not alowed to do the lottery anymore..... course i still buy the odd scratch card.... i mean, hes not a fundamentalist.
tanya- so has a date been set for the mariage.
elaine- well no, weve not been without our set backs. ive been sending him some money just to keep him going untill he sells his spice stall, but mohammed thinks the man who delivers his mail is a bit light fingered.
tanya- are you sure its safe to send large amounts of money to someone youve only been chatting to for a few weeks.
elaine- youve got to understand something about being a muslim, the word islam actually means love. i send him money and he loves that.
SCENE 2.
tanya- i believe elaine that some of your friends are worried about you marrying a man who lives 2000 miles away in Egypt who youve only spoken to via the internet
elaine- tanya, this is the 21st century, people should believe anythings possible. weve got cordless phones, compact disks... i mean just last night i was watching sky travell and theyve got a chimp in las vegas who can ride a bike whilst smoking a cigar... i mean, were not living in the dark ages anymore.
tanya- so whats the plan
elaine- well, plan is i meet mohammed at heathrow and we go straight to the registry office and get married.
[elaine recieves a text message]
elaine- oh, its from mohammed.
tanya- no last minute nerves i hope
elaine- no, i just asked him to let me know if the money i sent him yesterday went into his bank account.
tanya- how much did you send him elaine
elaine- well, what with tomorows air fare and various bits and bobs it did come to a couple of thousand this time.
tanya- what did the text say
elaine- yes.......hes a man of very few words... and not all those are in english.... i must be mad. .... right well im off, ive got to go and pick up my outfit and yes it is very special and no you cant get a sneak preview. ...right, i will see you all tomorow... once more into the bridge dear friends.
SCENE 3
tanya at heathrow airport wearing the higab (covered in black from head to toe) holding up a sign with Mohammeds name on it........
......he doesnt turn up.
this will run for a few weeks, i bet next week its his excuses..... what do you think.... sick father????
Charm El Feikh? Member # 10243
posted
wow, this is prime time main stream british comedy......
tootifrooti Member # 9824
posted
Argggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh HaaaaaaaaaaaaHaaaaaaaaaaaaaa I am watching this next week!!!! I wonder if anyone saved it and I can download it?
**** I am sick I missed it!!!!!
Charm El Feikh? Member # 10243
posted
sorry, i didnt record it. i dont know how it works but theres some new service for catching up on missed programmes up to 7 days later... but i dont know if you have to subscribe.... check sky, im sure it will be repeated!!!!!!!!
tootifrooti Member # 9824
posted
I will.
blue skies Member # 8447
posted
I just hope my mum wasn't watching...
Sounds pretty funny though, thanks Charm!
tootifrooti Member # 9824
posted
quote:Originally posted by blue skies: I just hope my mum wasn't watching...
Sounds pretty funny though, thanks Charm!
LOL
santanesia Member # 10108
posted
What TV station? I hope I can get there here in US. Some pubs here have the British dish, maybe I can Find one . I would love to see it.
Charm El Feikh? Member # 10243
posted
shes sooooooooooooooo funny. her other characters are even funnier... so typically British. i prefer the swearing grannie and the 'am i bovvered' teenager. its on BBC 1 and UKTV gold. try to see it if you can!!!
posted
yes i think they are... it was on gold... i must have watched the first series here too so pleeeeease dont spill the beans on how it works out.
Charm El Feikh? Member # 10243
posted
im GUTTED!!!!!!! One episode????????? elains serial killer ran for the entire series before!!!! mabey we could send them a link to ES with some suggestions for his no-show at the airport. i can think of a great story line there... cant you?!!!!!!
cocoapuffs Member # 9452
posted
funny, but slightly offensive to muslims.("youve got to understand something about being a muslim, the word islam actually means love. i send him money and he loves that.")
And we dont pray to the east, thank you very much, that was the Christians.
tootifrooti Member # 9824
posted
coco, a few questions please.........
1)I thought Islam meant peace???
2)So what direction do you face if you live in egypt if it's not east? On my map Mecca is east of egypt.
Please explain your offence? Why were you slightly offended?
Samia Member # 4691
posted
quote:Originally posted by tootifrooti: coco, a few questions please.........
1)I thought Islam meant peace???
2)So what direction do you face if you live in egypt if it's not east? On my map Mecca is east of egypt.
1) Islam means submission...... to the will of Allah
2) South-East.
Charm El Feikh? Member # 10243
posted
it was a comedy not a bloody documentary!!!!
Samia Member # 4691
posted
Do I look bovvered????
Charm El Feikh? Member # 10243
posted
face. bovvered. face. bovvered. I AINT BOVVERED!!!!
Charm El Feikh? Member # 10243
posted
F*%CKIN LIBERTY!!!
Charm El Feikh? Member # 10243
posted
AAAAHHHAHAHHA HEHEHEHHE!!!!!!
just watched it again.... did you see the scetch with the 2 office workers....
1s going on holiday to Egypt??!!!!!!
so funny!!!!
ExptinCAI Member # 1439
posted
cocoa, i think maybe english isn't your first language and you are missing the sarcasm in this humour. it's not at all offensive to islam - they're making fun of the british woman, in fact.
Charm El Feikh? Member # 10243
posted
"guess how much i paid for my holiday" "i dunno... 70 quid"
"im GOING to egypt.....not phoning it"
Samia Member # 4691
posted
That's the one thing I'll miss when I go home to Egypt..... decent tv !!!
candy Member # 10393
posted
Had to copy and paste the orignal thread and send to all my friends
Bill!!!!
Charm El Feikh? Member # 10243
posted
glad someone else finds it as funny as i do... next time i cant sleep i'll type out some more.. there not egyptian, but so so so funny!
tootifrooti Member # 9824
posted
I saw it last night charm, I was wetting myself at the old granny!!!! and her grandson. It is the business............hahahahahaha Loved the bit too about the am I bovvered going to the Darren's party..........ROFL.
Charm El Feikh? Member # 10243
posted
the granny is my favorite! the sketch last night was a good one... but the council window cleaner is the funniest!!! and when she goes to the pound shop! cracks me up!!!
i thought about typing a script out here... but its a bit full on!!!
Charm El Feikh? Member # 10243
posted
did you see the elaine sketch... the one when shes off to get married to the guy on death row... actually, i should type that one out so people can see the original thread is a piss take on elaine... not islam. shall i??
Charm El Feikh? Member # 10243
posted
not now though... ive just personal trained a new client... hes demanding... im a bit shaky... just running a hot bath now.... mmmm i can smell the aromatherapy muscle soak....kids asleep...candles light...music on...aaaaaaah bliss!!!
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