posted
"No more damaged goods!" say Egypt’s grooms to the Consumer Protection Agency
Features | Written by makarona Thursday, 26th of November, 2009
Egyptian grooms can now complain to the Consumer Protection Agency if their brides “are missing a hymen, or are otherwise faulty,” according to the new law.
If the marital product, also known as “woman”, is found without the highly-prized tissue still intact, bride consumers can return the damaged commodity within 7 days of trying it out, in which case they will then receive compensation from its manufacturer, or “parent”.
Contrary to unpopular belief, Egyptian women are expected to preserve their hymens at least until their wedding day.
The new law is a response to a growing trend of more and more marital products falsely presenting themselves as first-hand goods, when in fact other consumers had tested them out secretly before. “Imagine spending LE200,000 on a new car then finding out some other prick had taken it for a ride before you?” says Moneer El Modage3, an avid car collector and Middle East hymen expert.
This sentiment is shared by a majority of Egyptian bride consumers and manufacturers, known for often violently disposing of marital products if the treasured bubble wrap goes missing before the so-called "entry night".
“The manufacturer of my ex tried to tell me my purchase was damaged only due to frequent horseback riding in its past,” said one disgruntled bride consumer, “but in the end I got a refund and bought a new model with a longer expiration date.”
Saudi conservative leader Imar Wekhimar, a frequent visitor to Egypt, praised the new law, though with some reservations. “Quality control in marital products is long overdue,” he said between sips of fermented grapes, “I just wish they extended it to young boys too.”
Not all Egyptians are happy with the new law, however – particularly the XX-based gender. A minority of extreme “liberals” are arguing that the so-called marital products are in fact conscious, claiming that consumers should be more concerned with what’s inside the head-shaped region, rather than obsess about the one time-use tissue.
“Ha!” says El Modage3, “What’s next? Stop sexually harassing them in the streets?!” Justifiably, El Modage3 and other consumers are worried that attaching any real value to “women” themselves may interfere with the ongoing 7000 year old plan for men to rule the universe.
THIS IS OUTRAGEOUS!!! Posts: 30135 | From: The owner of this website killed ES....... | Registered: Feb 2004
| IP: Logged |
posted
Very funny Not that im Egyptian, i had better get booking that hymen replacement op or my mum's in for a hefty compensation layout LoooooooooooooooL
Posts: 634 | From: the Moon........... | Registered: Mar 2007
| IP: Logged |
posted
this cant be real its stupid. not all men feel that way just the stupid ones. testing a car is an american thing.. lol
-------------------- your ass is so tight when you fart only a dog can hear it.when you queef only a cat can hear that one. Posts: 9776 | From: You like If only mosquitoes sucked fat instead of blood. | Registered: Jul 2007
| IP: Logged |
posted
Shanta called it Tina x it's from an online spoof paper el koshary x it's so funny x
Posts: 634 | From: the Moon........... | Registered: Mar 2007
| IP: Logged |
posted
aaaaaaaaaaaaa thank god for the women its not real i guess.
-------------------- your ass is so tight when you fart only a dog can hear it.when you queef only a cat can hear that one. Posts: 9776 | From: You like If only mosquitoes sucked fat instead of blood. | Registered: Jul 2007
| IP: Logged |
posted
Okay how about EGyptian Males with out big perfect ones can be tested and then recycled....ha ha ha ha ha h h
Posts: 395 | From: Whereever I go | Registered: Jul 2004
| IP: Logged |
posted
Can I get 50% off if I know she had anal sex or 25% for oral sex as long as she still has the HEY_MAN?
Posts: 52 | Registered: Nov 2009
| IP: Logged |
posted
I'M ESHO ADENIYI RICHARD.FROM IBADAN OYO STATE NIGERIA.I HAD BEEN TO Egypt B4 BUT THERE NO WORK THERE,I DONT MIND COMING BACK THERE IF I CAN GET A GOOD JOB,PLEASE EMAIL ME BACK OR CALL ME ON THIS NUMBER +2348060544753..THANKS.eshoadeniyi@yahoo.com
posted
Sometimes your hymen can break during childhood. Dancing, falling, stretching, jumping all can contribute to a rip or torn hymen. I thought muslim men just fvck up the azz. I was unaware they like the poom-poom.
Posts: 2088 | Registered: Feb 2007
| IP: Logged |
quote:Originally posted by Bettyboo: Sometimes your hymen can break during childhood. Dancing, falling, stretching, jumping all can contribute to a rip or torn hymen. I thought muslim men just fvck up the azz. I was unaware they like the poom-poom.
did yours only use your ass? Posts: 15090 | From: http://www.egyptalk.com/forum/ | Registered: Jul 2004
| IP: Logged |
quote:Originally posted by Bettyboo: Sometimes your hymen can break during childhood. Dancing, falling, stretching, jumping all can contribute to a rip or torn hymen. I thought muslim men just fvck up the azz. I was unaware they like the poom-poom.
did yours only use your ass?
You muslim whore; A muslim man never ever came near my azz heifer, but I know he up yours every night. You muslim slaves heifers are nothing but tools for azz fvcking.
Posts: 2088 | Registered: Feb 2007
| IP: Logged |
posted
sorry to disappoint your fantasy oh great one of the foul mouth, but this only happens in YOUR fantasy of me
-------------------- If you don't learn from your mistakes, there's no sense making them. Posts: 15090 | From: http://www.egyptalk.com/forum/ | Registered: Jul 2004
| IP: Logged |
quote:Originally posted by Bettyboo: Sometimes your hymen can break during childhood. Dancing, falling, stretching, jumping all can contribute to a rip or torn hymen. I thought muslim men just fvck up the azz. I was unaware they like the poom-poom.
Yep you are right< How did you come up with this thought of muslim men just fvck up the azz?
Well if you are doable I will do you everywhere just for the sake of correcting your info. LOL but I doubt it. LOL
Posts: 52 | Registered: Nov 2009
| IP: Logged |
quote:Originally posted by Bettyboo: Sometimes your hymen can break during childhood. Dancing, falling, stretching, jumping all can contribute to a rip or torn hymen. I thought muslim men just fvck up the azz. I was unaware they like the poom-poom.
Yep you are right< How did you come up with this thought of muslim men just fvck up the azz?
Well if you are doable I will do you everywhere just for the sake of correcting your info. LOL but I doubt it. LOL
Sorry homo, but you can't do me because I'm not doable. But you have plenty of muslimes in the Arab world that would bend over in a heart beat to take your offer.
Posts: 2088 | Registered: Feb 2007
| IP: Logged |
: Sometimes your hymen can break during childhood. Dancing, falling, stretching, jumping all can contribute to a rip or torn hymen. I thought muslim men just fvck up the azz. I was unaware they like the poom-poom.
did yours only use your ass?
You muslim whore; A muslim man never ever came near my azz heifer, but I know he up yours every night. You muslim slaves heifers are nothing but tools for azz fvcking.
Bettyboo this is the second time,I ve seen you call someone a whore on here,you sound immature and do not understand anything.I will put you down as a ES troll because there is nothing about your posts that are interesting,maybe i guess you will abuse me too Posts: 1048 | From: If you are given a blessing you may be envied | Registered: Oct 2008
| IP: Logged |
: Sometimes your hymen can break during childhood. Dancing, falling, stretching, jumping all can contribute to a rip or torn hymen. I thought muslim men just fvck up the azz. I was unaware they like the poom-poom.
did yours only use your ass?
You muslim whore; A muslim man never ever came near my azz heifer, but I know he up yours every night. You muslim slaves heifers are nothing but tools for azz fvcking.
Bettyboo this is the second time,I ve seen you call someone a whore on here,you sound immature and do not understand anything.I will put you down as a ES troll because there is nothing about your posts that are interesting,maybe i guess you will abuse me too
Mary, she only does this when shes plastered, normally she's in the ancient Egypt sections, like to take her anger out here when shes pissed though Posts: 15090 | From: http://www.egyptalk.com/forum/ | Registered: Jul 2004
| IP: Logged |
posted
It amazes me to why people go online drunk,and abuse others because it will not make any differences to their lifes because they make themselves look stupid and the problems will still be there the next day,and a few friends less than the night before. But thats her problem and she is the only one who can fix her problems.she can shove that bottle right up her own ass i doubt if no one on here will even care.coming here insults muslim woman is not right or anyone other woman for that matter!! The people who abuse are the ones who have been abused and that sad and drinking will make it ten times worse for her and others.
quote:Originally posted by Bettyboo: Sometimes your hymen can break during childhood. Dancing, falling, stretching, jumping all can contribute to a rip or torn hymen. I thought muslim men just fvck up the azz. I was unaware they like the poom-poom.
Yep you are right< How did you come up with this thought of muslim men just fvck up the azz?
Well if you are doable I will do you everywhere just for the sake of correcting your info. LOL but I doubt it. LOL
Sorry homo, but you can't do me because I'm not doable. But you have plenty of muslimes in the Arab world that would bend over in a heart beat to take your offer.
I love you too Hun!!!! By the way do you kiss your mammy with that mouth??? your filthy tongue is not going anywhere near my balls!!!! LOL. Even if you used all the mouth wash in the universe. Posts: 52 | Registered: Nov 2009
| IP: Logged |
quote:Originally posted by Bettyboo: Sometimes your hymen can break during childhood. Dancing, falling, stretching, jumping all can contribute to a rip or torn hymen. I thought muslim men just fvck up the azz. I was unaware they like the poom-poom.
Yep you are right< How did you come up with this thought of muslim men just fvck up the azz?
Well if you are doable I will do you everywhere just for the sake of correcting your info. LOL but I doubt it. LOL
Sorry homo, but you can't do me because I'm not doable. But you have plenty of muslimes in the Arab world that would bend over in a heart beat to take your offer.
I love you too Hun!!!! By the way do you kiss your mammy with that mouth??? your filthy tongue is not going anywhere near my balls!!!! LOL. Even if you used all the mouth wash in the universe.
maybe letting anyone near yr balls is not a good idea. fleas jump... sorry jokin i am in a mood today/
Posts: 9776 | From: You like If only mosquitoes sucked fat instead of blood. | Registered: Jul 2007
| IP: Logged |
quote:Originally posted by tina kamal: maybe letting anyone near yr balls is not a good idea. fleas jump... sorry jokin i am in a mood today/
Did you take care of your wort down there!!!! heheheheh Just kiddin. I'm in the mood too!!! [/QB]
shh its not a wart its a cold sore.. hahahahah joking hey did u get some meds for them jumpers yet?u better be careful not to let any womans eye lashes down there? them things can jump 20 feet.
Posts: 9776 | From: You like If only mosquitoes sucked fat instead of blood. | Registered: Jul 2007
| IP: Logged |
quote:Originally posted by tina kamal: maybe letting anyone near yr balls is not a good idea. fleas jump... sorry jokin i am in a mood today/
Did you take care of your wort down there!!!! heheheheh Just kiddin. I'm in the mood too!!!
shh its not a wart its a cold sore.. hahahahah joking hey did u get some meds for them jumpers yet?u better be careful not to let any womans eye lashes down there? them things can jump 20 feet. [/QB]
Cold sore. huh!!!! that will teach you! pants off the floor, keep your pants off the floor,looking like a fool and getting a cold sore when pants on the floor!!! LOL The only thing that will jump at you will be something like Pinocchio's 's nose. Posts: 52 | Registered: Nov 2009
| IP: Logged |
quote:Originally posted by tina kamal: maybe letting anyone near yr balls is not a good idea. fleas jump... sorry jokin i am in a mood today/
Did you take care of your wort down there!!!! heheheheh Just kiddin. I'm in the mood too!!!
shh its not a wart its a cold sore.. hahahahah joking hey did u get some meds for them jumpers yet?u better be careful not to let any womans eye lashes down there? them things can jump 20 feet.
Cold sore. huh!!!! that will teach you! pants off the floor, keep your pants off the floor,looking like a fool and getting a cold sore when pants on the floor!!! LOL The only thing that will jump at you will be something like Pinocchio's 's nose. [/QB]
haha i havent seen a dick since adam, so no cold sores here..and isnt his nose like really long?
Posts: 9776 | From: You like If only mosquitoes sucked fat instead of blood. | Registered: Jul 2007
| IP: Logged |
UBBFriend: Email this page to someone!
![[Mad]](mad.gif)
![[Wink]](wink.gif)
![[Razz]](tongue.gif)
or my mum's in for a hefty compensation layout LoooooooooooooooL
![[Eek!]](eek.gif)
![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)
![[Roll Eyes]](rolleyes.gif)
![[Cool]](cool.gif)
By the way do you kiss your mammy with that mouth??? your filthy tongue is not going anywhere near my balls!!!! LOL. Even if you used all the mouth wash in the universe. 
Printer-friendly view of this topic