posted
I live in Canada and met a man online from Egypt. He is great, I also met his mother, sister and brother on webcam. We are very much in love and would like to get married. It seems the easiet way to be together would be for me to move to Egypt...Alexandria for a year or 2. I am scared but really want to do this. Is this a wise decision??? How is life there for foreign women? How do husbands treat their wifes? I need all the info I can get. Will i like the food??? lol Can i go there on a visitors visa then just marry him and stay? Will it be easy for me to get back to Canada if I am in trouble? I am native so I don't look white but closer to asian look...does that help me any? Any advice, info or comments would greatly appreciated...thanks...what should i know and/or do before i go or while i am there?
[This message has been edited by lastdawn (edited 16 February 2004).]
posted
hi lastdawn wow what a big decision u have to make however i would advise you before you pack your bags and leave everything behind that you go to egypt first on a holiday and meet this special man and make this important decision only after you have stayed in the country for sometime (i would recommend that you stay there for at least three months before making a decision). In regards to color you will meet egyptians from the whitest white to the darkest of colors so believe me you will not feel like you are a minority there. The country is great but as with anything it comes down to personal preference some people either love it and some hate it so it is best you go there and make the decision yourself because it would be quite difficult to base such a life altering decision on someone elses opinion and experiences.
Posts: 32 | From: Australia | Registered: Feb 2004
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posted
Hi! I'm happy to hear that you've met someone nice from Egypt. I too am Canadian and I met my husband oneline and we were married a few months ago. To find out if your man is truly what he seems to be, I would recommend going to Egypt for a visit, not to live there right away, just to get an idea. There is a major difference in life styles and this requires some adjustment. I currently live in France and I'm used to travelling. However, my first day in Cairo was pure culture shock! It is exciting and thrilling, but at the same time, bewildering if you don't know what to expect. I would recommend reading a lot about life in Egypt (there's a famous book called "Culture Shock" or something like that this is excellent!). If your fiancé is Muslim, I would definitely recommend reading about ISLAM, because religion is at the heart of every day life in EGypt. Even if he's not Muslim, you will need to understand the mentality of the general population. Of course, Egyptians are more conservative than Canadians. You should be prepared to dressed more conversatively and not to go out unaccompanied, at least in the beginning. However, let me stress one thing, most practising Muslims are faithful, caring husbands and I couldn't be happier with mine! He treats me like a queen and he's so sweet and sensual! aaaah! No Western man could compare. Don't be afraid to follow your instincts and to discover this amazing country. At the same time, keep your head on straight. This man may be posing as a single guy to get papers (you'll probably be warned by other women on this site and ready lots of horror stories). Not every man is a wolf in sheep's clothing, but there are some. Just take the plunge and try a holiday there and you'll see for yourself. You'll never be the same when you come back because Egypt is a country that moves you ... Inshallah, my Canadian friend, you will find your happiness, one way or another! Best of luck to you!
Posts: 66 | From: Paris, France | Registered: Aug 2002
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Hiya Although it is slightly different for me I am an englishman doing exactly as you are proposing, I am marrying an Egyptian girl later this year and we propose to live in Alexandria, I have been many times to visit and love the place, but as others have sugested this really is a personal opinion, my mother is coming out later this year and i am sure she wont like it so the previous advice to visit and make ur own mind up is good advice. My fiance goes to an English/Canadian college there and I believe there are quite a few Canadians studying in Alex, so you wouldnt be completely alone. I hope your experiences work out as well as mine are. The people themselves are sincere and welcoming, they spot foreigners a mile off and try to make a few egyptian pounds out of you but you soon learn that they are only trying to make a living and so far that is the worst problem i have found, I will keep you posted of any other obstacles i come across. With regard to visa you can get a short term visitors visa at the airport as you arrive, they will exchange money and sell u a visa all at reasonable rates, just be sure to count the money they give you lol. Take care and good luck
Posts: 4 | From: Eastleigh Hampshire England | Registered: Feb 2004
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quote:Originally posted by lastdawn: I live in Canada and met a man online from Egypt. He is great, I also met his mother, sister and brother on webcam. We are very much in love and would like to get married. It seems the easiet way to be together would be for me to move to Egypt...Alexandria for a year or 2. I am scared but really want to do this. Is this a wise decision??? How is life there for foreign women? How do husbands treat their wifes? I need all the info I can get. Will i like the food??? lol Can i go there on a visitors visa then just marry him and stay? Will it be easy for me to get back to Canada if I am in trouble? I am native so I don't look white but closer to asian look...does that help me any? Any advice, info or comments would greatly appreciated...thanks...what should i know and/or do before i go or while i am there?
[This message has been edited by lastdawn (edited 16 February 2004).]
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[This message has been edited by lisane (edited 10 July 2004).]
posted
I agree with everyone that says you MUST come spend some time in Egypt to meet the man first, and experience the culture second. This is SOOOOOOO important. Even if you get along fabulously with this man and he is your soulmate, and you can move back to Canada where you may be happy for the rest of your life, Egypt will always be a huge part of his life. They say you can take the boy out of Egypt, but you'll never take the Egypt out of the boy. There are so many parts of his personanlity that will be influenced by this that we couldn't begin to tell you everything to expect. It will take time to meet him and find out about him, just like it would with any other man in the world.
Now, the problem..... suppose you agreed that you should come over for a minimum of 3 months to live and see what he and Egypt are all about. Can you afford this? Or is this master plan to come over and get married so quickly driven by the fact that you are expecting him to support you immediately? Can he? Are you sure? Can he support you in the manner that you expect? How do you feel about living with his family? Does he own a flat already? Is it furnished with furniture you can live with? If it is furnished, it will have been furnished with furniture that he spent good money on and that he likes and expects you to like. You know the furniture issue is such a small minor part of the whole married life issue here, but it's one of those things that I wonder if you've ever talked about with him? Some of the furniture they have here (be it in the poorest or richest homes) would be enough to justify divorce in my mind. Just take everything slowly. I've lived here six years, I still find things about the culture and the people that surprise me, and your "love for each other" will really be put to the test if you rush things too fast.
posted
I would definately advise getting to know him in real life before you made a life long commitment. It would be better to be here semi independently as well. Staying in a hotel not with him and having enough money for your stay.
You have probably read some of the stories here and I have to say that there can be a lot of disallousionment and heartbreak in these relationships. i would say 99% are doomed.
posted
Wow, lastdawn, how old are you? You met a guy online and - wow - you even seen some of his family members on webcam. To top it of you have never seen or touchted this man on the screen in person (are you sure it will be the man when you arrive in Egypt?!, you haven't been to his country, you don't know anything about his culture and traditions nor you have the slightest knowledge of food. YOU JUST DON'T KNOW ANYTHING....... Sorry but I don't know if your asian look will help you in case your life there should be full of ****. Sorry but the way you posted your topic I can't imagine you are older than 11 because you just sound childish and adventurous - so I believe you are too young to get married!
Posts: 30135 | From: The owner of this website killed ES....... | Registered: Feb 2004
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posted
Who are you to judge anyone?.Are you the only perfect person in this world?. I think you got a problem try to fix it and don t be so rude, it doesn t look intelligent.
quote:Originally posted by Tigerlily: Wow, lastdawn, how old are you? You met a guy online and - wow - you even seen some of his family members on webcam. To top it of you have never seen or touchted this man on the screen in person (are you sure it will be the man when you arrive in Egypt?!, you haven't been to his country, you don't know anything about his culture and traditions nor you have the slightest knowledge of food. YOU JUST DON'T KNOW ANYTHING....... Sorry but I don't know if your asian look will help you in case your life there should be full of ****. Sorry but the way you posted your topic I can't imagine you are older than 11 because you just sound childish and adventurous - so I believe you are too young to get married!
Posts: 5 | From: London | Registered: Feb 2004
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Some people just come here on this forum totally stupid and they way they want to do their thing is designed for failure.
Lastdawn, before doing anything, get some books and videos about Egypt. If you still after marrying an Egyptian, yeah get all your papers together and travel there. In Egypt are enough available guys on the street, you can meet them in person and you can have your pick .....
Posts: 30135 | From: The owner of this website killed ES....... | Registered: Feb 2004
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posted
I think 'tigerlily' needs her head checked. I am discusted at your lack of dignity, how dare you be so quick to judge. If anything lastdawn should do what she feels is right and should definetly not listen to your bitter advice.
NICE TRY BUT I AM NOT STUPID.
[This message has been edited by lynn54 (edited 22 February 2004).]
Question to those who live in Egypt - akshar, Debbie etc ...
could you roughly guess how many Egpytians have a home computer?
what do computers cost over there? internet access?
I was just wondering re. this post and others where a woman has seen other family members on webcam, that see her too and know and understand that she will be visiting Egypt to marry into the family. It just seems too easy that convenient.
How can she be sure that it is his mother and brother etc ... on webcam and that they are fully aware of their online relationship?
it could be employees or neighbours or friends, couldn't it?
I'm Egyptian, and based on my knowledge, a great percentage of lower and middle class Egyptians do have a computer, and an Internet connection. It is now a priority that surpasses other commodities.
Which brings me to the unfortunate fact that they might have a computer and a webcam, a couple of cell phones, food on the table but no financial stability what so ever; and the need for improvement is now an obsession, indeed.
Thus, some families collectively accept the internet relationships of their sons/brothers/husbands(!) with foreigners, in a desperate attempt towards a better life.
Plus, there is an important issue that is called the 'foreigner complex' in Arabic: 'Okdet el khawaga' which means that in a lower or middle class circle of some 8, 9 Million people in Cairo out of 15 million, marrying a foreigner is considered an achievement, by those with a very low self-esteem, that is. A point left to be argued, as it is certainly not always the case.
It is a fact that some disastrous situations do occur, since the experience with a foreigner is sometimes disappointing - as some have an obscure past, are on welfare, on unemployment, have a couple of babies to feed, were abandonned by a drinking/gambling partner who ran away with the savings, have a sick parent in need of expensive health care, are out of desperation for a man to father their child - as a last opportunity since their biological clock is ticking - etc...etc...!
So, all the foreigners that meet Egyptian men on the internet, should be aware that it is not necessarily out of 'greed' but rather out of 'need', that some aspire to a better financial future - due to the present state of the Egyptian economy. It is up tho these foreigners to judge wisely, if this type of a relationship is worth exploring.
And all Egyptian men aspiring to a better future through a foreigner, should realize that some foreigners are not exactly what they appear to be.
C'est la vie!
Monica
[This message has been edited by Monica (edited 23 February 2004).]
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hi wise woman, of course could be anyone else than family members, but - logically- if that guy wants her to come and to stay here in egypt, why should he lie to her espacially in this point? for sure he knows well, that she will see his whole family once arrived.
also i think, any internet relation ship is as unsure as any "real life"-relation ship, too. its a matter of finding out whom we have to do with.
to answer ur question about computers in egypt: today more ppl than we imagen have pc and internet at home. it is not any longer a high class subject, than a standard for the wide middle class.
posted
I don't have any stats about home use but the use of the Internet is getting wide spread amongst even the lowest classes. If you can communicate in written English then you probably will have an email account.
I would say like men everywhere the gadgets are a priority over more mundane things. I have seen satelite, mobile phones and CD players in homes that haven't got running water indoors.
Marriage to a foreigner is seen as a cache. My husband has definately moved up the social scale by marrying me. In fact it is the only way someone like him could do so. There are few opportunities here for people as there is little work in Luxor except tourism.
Any marraige the partenrs bring different things into it and expect different things from it. As long as you have both discussed it and everything is out in the open there is nothing wrong with that. But most of these relationships, little is discussed except how quickly they can get 'married' and have sex.
------------------ UK Co-owner of www.toursinluxor.co.uk Accommodation and Tours in Luxor
quote:Originally posted by Monica: So, all the foreigners that meet Egyptian men on the internet, should be aware that it is not necessarily out of 'greed' but rather out of 'need', that some aspire to a better financial future - due to the present state of the Egyptian economy. It is up tho these foreigners to judge wisely, if this type of a relationship is worth exploring.
And all Egyptian men aspiring to a better future through a foreigner, should realize that some foreigners are not exactly what they appear to be.
Very wise words Monica! And Wise Woman-I agree with whoever said if the Egyptian has the slightest amount of English language abilities, s/he probably has an email account. I have talked with men in the lowest of circles that have an e-mail address. Used computers are cheap. Used computers are better than no computer if you want to join the cyber world. The access is there if they want it.
I just want to add that if you are involved in an Internet/cyber relationship, you HAVE to understand (and you will eventually) that all it is, is a fantasy, until you meet the person in real life. You really don't know alot about this person except what s/he tells you, and the reality of the situation may be that the person is completely different. It's really not all that different than falling in love with a character on TV or on the movie screen. It's all done with mirrors and magic until you see and know the person for real. If I could just give one piece of advice to all women meeting men on the Internet, I would say to NOT invest too much of your money, time, or soul on him until you've met him in real life. Disappointments out number the success stories.
[This message has been edited by Debbie (edited 25 February 2004).]
I didn't realise how accessible the internet was to Egyptians or that they would think to create an email address. I suppose the internet is a window of opportunties for them.
Here in wet and miserable Scotland, I was the first of all my friends to buy a computer and connect to internet. March 2001. My friend (teacher) bought a computer at Christmas past, she's the second out of our group of us to buy one. Maybe it's just us (stingy Scots) but we consider them luxury items.
I can just imagine a Nile fisherman out in his boat, typing away on his laptop waiting for the fish to bite.
Again you opened my eyes wider on the subject of foreign relations.
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