posted
I wrote before about my sad story with my ex-fiance here under the title " can a mother be so stubborn?", and am not crying over the spilt milk, but as i thought of posting my issue here to hear different points of view from ppl i don't know personally, you gave the courage to start facing my old friends. i started contacting them and everyone begins asking me the normal question, where have you been? when i give them the hint about my story and that everything between me and my love ended, i feel something strange about their reactions. they take it so easy. they even don't bother themselves by saying ma3lesh . they go on asking and asking till they know every detail, even if these details are hurting and giving me strong pain, they don't care. i felt one of them was happy to the extent that she asked me if my ex- fiance was now free or he got enaged again? come on, we broke up only few days ago and she is asking if he is free or not, i can't imagine that she wanted him for herself all this time and i was not understanding. another one took it so easy, as if all my story had been for few days not 2 years of my life, another one attacked me, she said that i was the reason for everything. another one gave no attention to what i said and she just said " really? then no problem" another one said ok plz i don't want to hear other sad stories i have had enough, another said that she didn't like our story from the beginning and that she expected that long ago!!! everyone took it so easy as if nothing changed or nothing happened i discovered a big percentage of lies and exagerations, emotions were confused inside me, are they my friends or they are other ppl whom i don't know? you people who don't know me , gave me more attention, you at least posted me replies and didn't say that you don't have time for my problem. I am now sort of shocked, deeply hurt again, can true friends do so? i am wondering Posts: 90 | From: Cairo,Egypt, | Registered: Sep 2005
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posted
no true friends don't do that. you know they say that breaking up, and divorces show the true colors of people. you find out who loves you and who doesnt! now that you know, stay away from those people. you don't neccesarily have to cut all relations with them. but take them out of the "close friends," category. and try to meet nicer, and kinder people. ones who give as well as take. now you are wiser, and older, and more experienced. youll find that its easier to know a true friend, from a not so true one. good luck to you. and i hope your pain subsides inshallah soon. and if you need anything email me at yasminefathy@hotmail.com
ps: you know which one pissed me off the most? the one who told you she doesn't want to hear sad stories anymore! the bitch!
Posts: 4446 | From: Egyptian in Sydney | Registered: Mar 2005
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posted
thank you very much 7aya or yasemine i start thinking now that am having a new friend Posts: 90 | From: Cairo,Egypt, | Registered: Sep 2005
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quote:Originally posted by egyptian_gurl: you gave the courage to start facing my old friends. i started contacting them and everyone begins asking me the normal question, where have you been? ...... I am now sort of shocked, deeply hurt again, can true friends do so? i am wondering
You know as soon as I read your topic this question came into my mind? Why you are saying you are started to contact your old friends again and they ask about your whereabouts? Did you personally cut contacts to them because of your boyfriend? What happened exactly? Why didn't you stay in contact with them?
You know it happens many times that people as soon as they start a relationship also stay away from their friends or building up a new circle of aquaintances and friends. It could have been that some of your girlfriends just felt kind of pushed aside by you if you really where they one who didn't (want to) stay in contact and now since your relationship is over you come back to them to cry yourself out. It doesn't mean that they take your situation easy but maybe there would more like to know why you cut off contacts to them?
So what really happened?
Posts: 30135 | From: The owner of this website killed ES....... | Registered: Feb 2004
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quote:Originally posted by Tigerlily: You know as soon as I read your topic this question came into my mind? Why you are saying you are started to contact your old friends again and they ask about your whereabouts? Did you personally cut contacts to them because of your boyfriend? What happened exactly? Why didn't you stay in contact with them?
You know it happens many times that people as soon as they start a relationship also stay away from their friends or building up a new circle of aquaintances and friends. It could have been that some of your girlfriends just felt kind of pushed aside by you if you really where they one who didn't (want to) stay in contact and now since your relationship is over you come back to them to cry yourself out. It doesn't mean that they take your situation easy but maybe there would more like to know why you cut off contacts to them?
So what really happened?
regarding your question, I didn't stop contacting any of my friends but they were not into the latest details since we started preparations. as you may know in Egypt, when there is nothing formal between the two partners , it is preferable not to make the arrangements public for any one outside the families. so they were not informed up to date about what happens between me and him in the last month and after we broke up i stayed 3 days at home refusing to have any calls from any of them. so i don't think just 3 days may make them feel so upset with me Posts: 90 | From: Cairo,Egypt, | Registered: Sep 2005
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posted
egyptian gurl i really posted many messages for you,anyhow i think you are you very sensitive person and that make you speeding up .you adviced me not to speed up things in a previous post but in truth i feel you who speed up things now. and i want to tell you i never speed up things as i know my aims in life good and i thankj Allah for that and know that with working hard i will achieve them inshaAllah .you also should do the same.
also i want you not to be angry with your friends as 7 aya said specially the one who said to you that she do not want to hear sad stories as she had enough .what is the problem in that . you do not know what is present in the hearts of people. may be she have more dangerous problems than your love story. i really do not want you to judge people through your problem only.there are millions of problems in that world that if you heard about it you will cry day and night. i will tell you one of thing that really affected me. the news paper of al ahram wrote it. it is a bout a woman in africa that have 5 kids and they are all in starvation and the food is veryyyyyyyyyy littale and this mother see which of her kids is near to die so she try not to give him his part of food as she want to save the others so she give them his part.i think you can imagine now how that is sad. although i am a man i wanted to cried when i read that as you can imagine how a mother want to save her kids but she can not .so you are not the only one who have problems in the world and may be yoiur friend have alot of sad stories as you or more. i am very sensitive person as you but i never make my feelings destroy my realtions with the persons i love even if they hurted me sometimes.and that what make me till now and i thank allah for that be able to talk with 3 westernoers who hated islam and i changed their opinion totally when i proved to them that islam is right salaam alikom i wish you are not sad any more
posted
Sometimes you have to see your friends for what they and not what you have in your mind. Sometimes ppl when you tell them something like that, they dont what to say, or what to do. So they try to act if this is a normal thing. And this happens specially when they see you hurt. Some ppl dont know what to do to make you feel better. And end up acting as if nothing was wrong. And some ppl you need to tell them, straight ahead "I need comfort" cause sometimes they dont get it!
My bestfriend, when I was going through a big crisis she was always there, she didnt comfort me that much, no she used to talk to me about other things, was always by my side. At that time I didnt see that, I was actually angry with her, that she didnt comfort me. Not after a long time I understood what she did was comfort me, (but not in my way) but in the way she knew best.
You know, when you go through a heartbreak you feel like you are alone in the world and no one cares about you. the only reason that you feel that way, cause you feel no one can comfort you like he did or make you happy like he did. But its time to think what can I do to make myself feel better and happy. the bestfriend you can ever get is yourself.
you have my email you know, sorry for not being online that much. Busy transporting my stuff over to ireland. But if you need anything I am here
posted
Gurl, I guess this was an unplanned free test for the strength of yr friendships. Out of my own experience I'd say the best friendships aren't necessarily forever! When friendships turn out to have been false, flattering or oppotunistic, if it reaches a point of unresolved diagreement and ends in lots of disappointment and tears it's best to turn yr back and walk away FAST! Dignity is not a qaulity that u would ve thought of when U were calling for a helping hand, then let down..but it really helps! It's like a balm when u 've been disappointed and treated badly.
No gossip, bitching or moaning to acquaintances abt how some of yr friends turned out to be "little", this will only remind u again and even bother u more! Just keep yr dignity, and to yr surprise it's not only a healer, la2... it's the best REVENGE!! One more thing..I shouldn't be drawing yr attention to that, but haven't u thought of the envy/jealousy..the infection of any friendship? No enemy can beat an envious friend honestly! It might be a reason y one felt happy and another felt indifferent..who knows? Salam, Noha
[This message has been edited by ngeg (edited 28 September 2005).]
posted
I also lost a lot of friends when I divorced after 25 years .. but these are the friends I don't need anyway... Also, same situation when I embraced Islam... But... these life-changes just sorted out true friends from fair weather friends!!! Good friends stay with you whatever your situation!! Posts: 4238 | From: USA | Registered: Jul 2004
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quote:Originally posted by Serendipity: Same thing that happened to samia and Jannah happened to me. when I started wearing hijab.
I lost friends but i gained my bestfriend.
Sara.... the people you lose are not true friends anyway... you gained a best friend, and a better way of life!!! I have no regrets about the people I lost!!!
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