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Muslim man sentenced to life in jail after killing his German-born wife
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[QUOTE]Originally posted by Questionmarks: [QB] [QUOTE]Originally posted by misfit: [qb] [QUOTE]Originally posted by Questionmarks: [qb] This might sound cruel to you, but still is the opinion professionals might have. This woman is keeping in score a negative situation by taking others responsibilities. By working for her grandchildren because the parents don't, she approves that her children don't work. And yes, letting go is hard, but still the only solution when she wants to change this situation. Did you ever read professional advices for parents from addicted children? Their addiction needs a lot of money, they are not able to finance their addiction, and they are asking relatives for money? Or just steal it, when they don't get it voluntary? How they manipulate their parents, how it breaks the aprents heart to see their children like this? How difficult it is to keep the door closed for your own children???? Nevertheless it's the only solution. The children won't change, untill they fall deep. When they have reached the deepest point they HAVE to change. Do you think I don't know such situations? Of course the woman has only good intentions, of course she has manoeuvred herself in a vicious circle where it's hard to get out, but is she helped with feeling sorry? No, she isn't. Is she helped by giving money? By giving money you just help to maintain this situation... You know, I even saw situations where the children start to blame their parents for bringing them in such a situation. A small thank for their pain... Don't get me wrong, I am not apathic or cruel. I am using my logic, nothing more... By the way, one in jail, one dead, that means 7 left. Seven adult people who are able to work and for reason, refuse. The woman is 70 years old and sick. If I were her, I should make them clear it's their turn now, and refuse to give them one piaster anymore... [/qb][/QUOTE]QM, I still say that your logic is apathetic and cruel, I explained the point in the story and explained that we cannot judge her since we don't know the rest of the tragedies in her life, maybe the rest of her kids are no more than a bunch of ingrates who are not willing to support her, I also agreed with you that she maybe mistaken but she was not in a position to give them a better upbringing, I explained all of that but you still insist to give me that professional mumbo jumbo about how you'd behave if you were her, well, you're not her and for that you should only be grateful! do you also recommend I give her a call to lecture her about how she messed up her own life? I agree with you BTW, the woman did a mistake and I definitely would not raise my kids the same way, and your valuable professional views can probably help the new generations to achieve a better life and even save the planet, but what good do you think it can do to a woman in her situation? A little empathy please!! [/qb][/QUOTE]Dear Misfit, Do you expect this woman would be open for a professional advisor? I think she must feel like her life is almost finished, and that it has been a disappointed life anyway. I think she is hoping God will reward her, and ( when there is a God) he will, because she indeed didn't know better. As far as I have expierenced also parents need a certain degree of 'desperateness' to let your own children fall deep, hoping they will climb up again. Sometimes they don't, and then you have to live in the knowledge that you failed, and that hurts. Loosing a child what isn't dead...knowing that he will do all what God has forbidden, that your child is bad... I have an opinion about this subject and it isn't the same opinion as you have. That's possible, but that doesn't mean it is a bad opinion. I just look to the subject in another way... So, I'm afraid I don't have an advice. She is 70 and sick, and all you can do is doing what you are doing right now. What I should do in such situation is totally unrelevant. I shouldn't come in a such a situation, because I have been born in another society, raised up with other values, choosed for another type of husband, and raised my children in another way. I cannot compare myself with her... [/QB][/QUOTE]
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